Gums' Editorial Section

ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR AWARD FOR 2004
CONGRESSMAN GETS 100 DAYS IN JAIL FOR KILLING A BIKER

By Gums

I think this years "ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR AWARD" is going to have to be shared by two people. I am not sure which one is the worst "ASSHOLE" so one will be the "SPHINCTER" and the other will be what pours out of that little muscle. For those of you who are asking "what the hell is a sphincter" well it's the mussel that is around the butt hole and holds everything in till the proper time for release, if you know what I mean.

OK---Now you are wondering who gets this honor for 2004----Well it is none other than a judge in South Dakota named Steele and a Congressman named Bill Janklow.

Lets start with the piece of human waste named Janklow---- This guy admits he has had a lot of traffic tickets, His quote was "while I was Governor, I drove really fast because I had a lot of places to go and things to do"! Well excuse the shit out of me, but I am sure there are a lot of us that have a lot to do. So can we also use this for an excuse for speeding when we get caught or is this a privilege that is reserved for our elected officials? Janklow stated in court (this is his quote not mine) "All I can say judge is I'm sorry and I wish I could change it" Hell I know a dozen guy's in the joint right now who said the same thing and it sure as hell didn't work for them.

Now for the heart of the story!! Janklow was riding along in his nice 4500 pound cadillac doing 71 MPH (seventy one miles per hour) in a 55 MPH (fifty five miles per hour) zone. At 70 plus miles per hour he runs a stop sign and hits a 600 lb (six hundred pound) motorcycle driven by 55 year old Randy Scott at a rural intersection on August 16th killing him. Keep in mind, this asshole (the congressman) has already had over a dozen previous traffic tickets for speeding! The human waste congressman and his lawyer come up with an excuse that should be entered in the contest for the best "lie" of the year at the Liars club! His lawyer said---and I quote "Janklow is a diabetic and had not eaten for eighteen hours and was suffering from a diabetic reaction that left him confused and disoriented"---Question, if he knew he had diabetes and had not eaten for eighteen hours---why the hell was this piece of shit driving in the first place? I just wonder how his being "confused and disoriented" was affecting his job as a congressman? But we all know about our elected officials don't we!

Now on to the "Honorable" judge Steele (I use the word "honorable" as a joke) This Judge (the asshole) could have given Janklow (the human waste) the following sentence:

1. Eleven years in a prison and
   
2. A fines of up to $11,400.00
   

Since South Dakota has no minimum sentences, the Judge can do what ever he damn well pleases or gets paid to do. So what does this tower of justice do to this "killer"? You are going to just love this-- He gives Jackoff sorry I meant Janklow the following--100 (one hundred) days in jail, a fine of $5,400.00 (don't know where he came up with that figure) and ordered him to pay $50.00 a day for the cost of his 100 days in jail. Then he also must perform "community service". Now here is a real spin on the "community service" thing---After the asshole serves just 30 days (thirty days) in jail, he can get out of jail every day for up to 10 (ten) hours a day to do his community service. Ain't that a bitch! By the way, just what does a congressman do for "community service"? I knew I should have run for office!!! I would really like to get a look at this judges bank account since this trial, of course, I would never say he was bought off or pressured in any way to let Jackoff get away with killing a innocent bike rider.

Then comes a fine (HA HA HA HA) Senator from South Dakota Tim Johnson (democrat S.D.) who makes the most asinine statement that I have ever heard come out of a elected officials mouth--quote "My heart goes out to the Scott family, South Dakotans can be proud of our legal system, which was swift and thorough in its execution of justice" end quote. Now give me a friggin break, if this what he calls justice we are all in a bucket of shit in this country! But then again, we all know that already.

Next came some catholic priest who said he knew Jackoff' whoops I did it again, I mean Janklow' for forty years and quote "he deserved mercy". Screw you Mr. priest, who the hell gives a shit what you think! You should go stay with your "alter boys" and stay out of trials. The guy "killed" a person and deserves no mercy!

Every article I have read on this matter so far has told us what a wonderful person this asshole Janklow is, he did this, he has done that--well screw him---he killed someone and is a multi time traffic offender who killed "RANDY SCOTT"!!! I have not seen a single article telling us how nice Mr.Scott was. How about the things he did in his lifetime? I'll bet he never killed anyone and got away with it! To do that you must have "rank and privilege" in this country.

Lets switch things around for just a minute--A long haired "biker" is enjoying the sun and wind on his face while riding his bike. He is clipping along twenty miles per hour over the posted speed limit runs a stop sign, hits and kills some congressmen's daughter who is out riding her bicycle. What do you think would happen to this poor bastard? Would he get one hundred days in the local lockup? NOT ON YOUR ASS!!!!! Every politician would be screaming for his blood!

In getting to the end of this, all I can say is, a fair trial for Jackoff, whoops I mean Janklow, should be held in a real "BIKER BAR"! Not some bleeding heart "yuppie" hang out that serves espresso and bagels either. There a group of fair minded bikers could judge him based on his actions and not position in the congress and hand out a fair and just punishment that fits the crime! You can always trust a biker to be fair!

So in the end, there it is, two of our finest(what a joke) up standing citizens are now the proud owners of the "ASSHOLE OF THE YEAR AWARD."

I wish the Scott family all the luck in the world in their "wrongful death" lawsuit against this piece of shit! Please remember the fallen bikers named RANDY SCOTT.