Gums' Editorial Section

SOME NEW YEAR THOUGHTS

By Gums

Well here it is a brand new year and time for some new thoughts.

As I get older, I am starting to hate going to mall's and stores, shopping for gifts, more and more. Now don't get me wrong, the stores all look very pretty with all the Christmas decorations up. The thing that I seem to hate most is all the whiny, crying, ill-behaved little brats that mom's bring to the malls. Some (most) of these little brats need a good ass whippin!. Then the mothers need their butts slapped also. I have stood and watched these little snot noses throw themselves on the floor because "mommie" said no to them. Screw the little bastards, let them lay there and go eat lunch somewhere. Someone should tell these mothers that their kids are little brats and in need of a good ass whipping! I don't blame the kid's as much as I do the mothers. This new breed on mother thinks it's "cute" when their brat throws a tantrum in some store. Pick the little bastard up and jerk a knot in his ass and ya can bet he will think before doing it again. The same goes for anywhere "momies" take their little darlings. This means restraints, movies, parks etc. There are places that will not allow smoking, so how about stores where ya can't bring the little brats in. How about a "kid's free mall" then we could all shop without having to listen to some little rug rat piss and moan. Places that serve food should put parents with kids in some back room somewhere like they do with smokers. Hell kids are more hazardous to your health than smoking anyway! So parents, if ya just gotta go shopping or out to eat, how about spending that extra $20.00 and hiring a baby sitter to watch your little monster.

AH YES! I ALMOST FORGOT!

While I'm on the subject of malls and restaurants, here is another request. I know you ladies just love the smell of that new $2.00 a gallon perfume ya got for Christmas, but trust me - us guys don't! I have walked past some women (not just the old ones either) in the stores and malls (and at the local biker bar) that just plain "STINK." Now it is not because the perfume stinks, it's because these women took a bath in this shit! Ya can smell some of these folk twenty minutes after they pass by you. Hell the stink clings to your hair and clothes like ya just had a mad sex romp with the broad. Hell sometimes my ole lady thinks I've got something goin on the side when I come home from the mall because of the smell. When I'm having a nice big "T" Bone steak at a nice restaurant and "Miss Perfume" walks my table, I wanna puke! The restaurant should put these "stinky" women in the back room with the brats and their mom's. So come on ladies! Give us some slack, remember the old saying, "A LITTLE DAB WILL DO YA" and leave the stinky shit at home on the shelf where it belongs! Help America keep it's air clean!

OK, HERE IS A SHORT NOTE FROM OUR LOCAL GOVERNMENT

Since the city is making so much money because on the increased property taxes (real estate values are way up now) they figured they needed a raise for the Mayor and City council. Now this isn't to bad till ya look at it for a minute. 1) they voted themselves this raise at 1:30 AM in the morning. Hell there was no one at city hall at that hour to object. 2) Since our Mayor is so great they raised his salary so high that he now makes more than the Governor of the state (Florida). The city council job is a part time job. They will now get around $35 to $38,000.00 a year for part time work. They say their pay is now in line with those same positions in other like size city's. Also now that the pay rate is higher we will be able to find better qualified people for the council. Does this mean that the jerkoff's that we have in there now are not qualified to have their jobs (probably so). Last I heard, ya got "Merit" pay raises when ya did a good job. The only thing they are good at is SCREWING the tax payer----oh well they all suck anyway!

A NEW TOY FOR FOLKS WHO LIKE TO PISS PEOPLE OFF

I heard some where that there is going to be a new gadget available fairly soon. The size will be about the same as a pack of cigarettes. Now ya ask why is this so important and just what the hell is it? OK, it's a cell phone jamming device. Yup that's right somehow ya just point it at someone talking on a cell phone, press a button and presto, they are disconnected. This will be the neatest thing since sliced bread. Should ya see this idiot driving down the road yapping on his/her phone ...ZAP ... he's done! How about in a movie theater or while you are eating dinner in a restaurant. Ya hear someone talking so everyone in the joint can hear them ... ZAP there finished! What is going to be really cool is this gadget will be so small that the person ya ZAP won't even know who did it or what happened. Ya can bet your butt I'll buy one, just think of all the fun ya can have with one! "TIME TO GET EVEN WITH THESE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT TALKING ON THEIR CELL PHONES"

OK, LAST ITEM FOR NOW

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Years and now get your ass back to work and pay off all those bills ya ran up buying all those Christmas gift's.