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OK, IF THIS DON'T PISS EVERY BIKER OFF ... NOTHING WILL!
By GUMS

I don't know how many of you plan on going to Myrtle Beach in May this year for bike week-----my advice is "DON"T. Seems the asshole Mayor there and the council members think "BIKERS" are nothing but a big pain in their ass! Never mind that riders from all over the country (and the world) pour millions of dollars into the economy of Myrtle Beach. The Mayor, John Rhodes, has canceled all bike rallies and events that go along with them. This also includes the fall rally. There will no longer be any biker rallies in Myrtle Beach ever! To make sure ya stay away, he has put in force a whole list of new laws aimed at just bikers. Some groups from other towns and counties are planing events, but ya better not cross any Myrtle Beach City line (if ya know where the hell they are) or ya will be hit with tickets and fines. They have even put a helmet law in just for Myrtle Beach---did ya ever hear of such shit? What a bunch of assholes John Rhodes and his council members are. Click on this link here and you can read the news release from the asswipe Mayor and also see a list of new laws that this Nazi group have put in place just for you. There's also FAQ's, these are questions people have ask about the new shit. Pay close attention to the one called: "WHERE DO THE CITY LIMITS OF MYRTLE BEACH EXTEND? Maybe some of you would like to tell the mayor what ya think of his idea of no bike events in "HIS" city. Ya can send an e mail to the city clerk Joan Grove at jgrove@cityofmyrtlebeach.com be sure to tell her your mail is for the mayor in the subject line. I don't think ya should use foul language though, but I sure can't tell ya what to say to these assholes! Far as I know they (Myrtle Beach) still welcomes Black spring break and the other college spring breaks---just no bikers wanted!! Myrtle Beach South Carolina City Hall Phone:843-918-1000 REMEMBER---DAYTONA COULD BE NEXT !!!!!

LETS SEE NOW ...

A 22-year-old woman, Natalie Dylan, a made-up name, is selling her "virginity" online offering her body to bidders nationwide in an auction that reportedly has netted a $3.7 million offer. But federal authorities said there wasn't much they could do about the case, "Being that prostitution is legal in the area that she's listing from, and she's over 18 and it's consensual." Now wait just one damn minute----3 million bucks for a piece of ass ???? I have met a lot of hard-core foxes in my years of riding. I have never found one yet I would pay $100.00 to screw much less 3 mil.!! I wonder how much that comes to per stroke ?? Natalie is selling her "CHERRY" through the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. "Natalie is a virgin and would like to sell this priceless and rare commodity in a very exclusive and private setting," says the Bunny Ranch Web site. "One time only she will appear at the bunny ranch and give up her virginity to the highest bidder," says the brothel's Web site. Ok, I'm not going into a lot more detail on this one. Ya can google her name and read all about her and some of the offers she has had. All I know for sure is no matter how ugly a woman is, she sits on a million dollars every time she sit's down !!---YOU GO GIRLS !!!

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE

I see we now have a new President. While I didn't vote for him and just plain don't like or trust him, I am willing to give him a chance and see if he can straighten out the mess in this country (what choice do I have anyway?)----that's all I will say right now on politics !

SPEAKING ABOUT THE INAUGURATION OF A NEW PRESIDENT

They expected anywhere from 2 to 3 million people to stand in freezing temperatures, for up to ten hours or more, to watch the inauguration of a new president (which has already happened as I type this) so I have one question---The city of Washington say's they have 5 to 8 thousand "PORTA POTTIES" available for the crowd to use. Just where did the other 2,992,000 people go to take a piss or a dump? I wonder if they ran out of shit paper too?? Ya I know I have some strange thoughts---but really---just think about standing in the cold for hours and nowhere to "PEE." I guess a real "BIKER" would just pee in his pants and at least feel warm for a couple minutes !!!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T WRITE THIS MYSELF I FIND IT TO BE TRUE AND TO THE POINT

PEOPLE ASK WHY??
My old grandpa said to me son,' there comes a time in every mans life when he stops bustin' knuckles and starts bustin' caps and usually it's when he becomes too old to take whoopin'.
I don't carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.
I don't carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.
I don't carry a gun because I'm paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.
I don't carry a gun because I'm evil.
I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.
I don't carry a gun because I hate the government.
I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.
I don't carry a gun because I'm angry.
I carry a gun so that I don't have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.
I don't carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.
I don't carry a gun because I'm a cowboy.
I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.
I don't carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.
I don't carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.
I don't carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.
Police Protection is an oxymoron. Free citizens must protect themselves.
Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.
Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take whoopin'.

Author Unknown (but obviously brilliant)

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