Warning some of these joke may pop your PC balloon. So if your easily offended then get the hell out.
(667 JOKES)
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THE FRENCH PILOT
by CHEROKEE
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, 'Pierre, kiss me!'
Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
'What are you doing, Pierre ?' says the startled Marie.
'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!'
She smiles and they start kissing.
Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower.'
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.
'Pierre! What are you doing now?' asks the bewildered Marie.
'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!'
She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude: and things really steam up.
Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me much lower!'
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap.
He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, 'PIERRE , WHAT IN THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?'
Our 'hero' stands and says defiantly,
'I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!'
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HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU
by ELLIE
"I love you" in 25 languages
1. English -I love you.
2. Spanish - Te amo.
3. French-Je t'aime.
4. German-lch liebe dich.
5. Japanese - Ai shite imasu.
6. Thai -Phom rak khun.
7. Italian -Ti amo.
8. Chinese-Wo ai ni.
9. Swedish - Jag alskar.
10.-25. Alabama,Arkansas,Kansas,Oklahoma,Texas,North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Missouri, Mississippi, Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky,
and parts of Florida - Nice tits. Get in the truck.
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THE REAL CAUSE OF MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH
by RANDY
Michael Jackson's autopsy came back and they found out that he died from food poisoning ......... They found 12 year old nuts in has stomach.
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MICHAEL JACKSON
by TROY
Before entering heaven God said to Farah Fawcett, I shall grant you one wish. She asks for all the children to be kept safe. So God nods and kills Michael Jackson.
Due to the fact that Michael Jackson is 99% plastic, he will be melted down into Lego blocks so little kids can play with him for a change.
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WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE...I'M BROKE!!
by TROY
Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.'
I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a F*cking good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning....What part of 'broke' don't you understand?'
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