Warning some of these joke may pop your PC balloon. So if your easily offended then get the hell out.
WHATS YOUR NAME BOY???
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.
'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'are they all
'Yep, they are all mine,' the flustered momma sighs,
having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Leroy.' All the children rush to find seats.
'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'
'Well, to keep it simple, the boys are all named Leroy and the girls are all named Leighroy.'
In disbelief, the case worker says, 'Are you serious? They're ALL named Leroy?'
Their momma replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier.
When it's time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' An they all comes a runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the
street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy.'
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But
what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'
'Then I call them by their last names.'
BLACK ONE LINERS
Black Joke One Liner 1
Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?
Black Joke One Liner 2
Q: How did they improve the transportation in Harlem?
A: Moved the trees closer together.
Black Joke One Liner 3
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.
Black Joke One Liner 4
Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: About 9 months.
Black Joke One Liner 5
Q: What did the black girl say while having sex?
A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.
Black Joke One Liner 6
Q: What do u call a black priest?
A: Holy shit
Black Joke One Liner 7
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.
Black Joke One Liner 8
Q: What do you call 10,000 black people at the bottom of the sea?
A: A good start.
Black Joke One Liner 9
Q: What do you call 100 black guys buried from the neck down?
A: Afro Turf.
Black Joke One Liner 10
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
A: Antique farm equipment.
Black Joke One Liner 11
Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
A: Farm equipment.
Black Joke One Liner 12
Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
Black Joke One Liner 13
Q: What do you call a group of blacks in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
Black Joke One Liner 14
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs
Black Joke One Liner 15
Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A: A rotten banana
Black Joke One Liner 16
Q: What do you call Mike Tyson if he has no arms or legs?
A: Nigger, Nigger, Nigger!!!!
Black Joke One Liner 17
Q: What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
A: Stop laughing and reload
Black Joke One Liner 18
Q: What does the BFI on the dumpster’s stand for?
A: Black Family Inside
Black Joke One Liner 19
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jelly beans?
A: The black one steals your watch.
Black Joke One Liner 20
Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march? A. An auctioneer
Black Joke One Liner 21
Q: What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
A: There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Black Joke One Liner 22
Q: Why are black people like jelly beans?
A: No one likes the black ones.
Black Joke One Liner 23
Q: Why are black people so good at Basketball?
A: Cause all you have to do is RUN … SHOOT … and STEAL
Black Joke One Liner 24
Q: Why are blacks afraid of lawn mowers?
A: Because it goes run nigger nigger run.
Black Joke One Liner 25
Q: Why do blacks bury their dead upside down?
A: To use them as bike racks.
Black Joke One Liner 26
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of Negro out of their mouths
Black Joke One Liner 27
Q: What did the white redneck say to his wife when she told him their black neighbors was coming over for Christmas?
A: So much for a white Christmas this year!
FATHER JOHN'S BATH
It was time for Father John's
Saturday night bath and the
young nun, Sister Magdalene,
had prepared the bath water
and towels just the way the
old nun had instructed.
Sister Magdalene was also
instructed not to look at Father
John's nakedness if she could
help it, do whatever he told her
to do, and pray.
The next morning the old nun
asked Sister Magdalene how the
Saturday night bath had gone.
'Oh, sister,' said the young nun
dreamily, 'I've been saved.'
'Saved? And how did that come
about?' asked the old nun.
'Well, when Father John was
soaking in the tub, he asked me
to wash him, and while I was
washing him he guided my hand
down between his legs where he
said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.'
'Did he now?' said the old nun evenly.
Sister Magdalene continued,
'And Father John said that if the Key
to Heaven fit my lock, the portals
of Heaven would be opened to me
and I would be assured salvation
and eternal peace. And then Father
John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.'
'Is that a fact?' said the old nun even more evenly.
'At first it hurt terribly, but Father
John said the pathway to salvation
was often painful and that the glory
of God would soon swell my heart
with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so
good being saved.'
'That wicked old bastard, said the
old nun. 'He told me it was Gabriel's Horn,
and I've been blowing it for 40 years!
LONG TIME WHITE HOUSE GARDNER FIRED...
HEADLINE: Longtime White House Gardener Fired!
(AP) The head gardener at the White House was dismissed today after 28 years of loyal service to many US Presidents.
In an exclusive interview outside the back gate of the Presidential Residence, the elderly Caucasian gardener, Jim Bob Whitey, protested his innocence.
"It all happened so fast. I'm still in a daze" said the bewildered Whitey.
"All I know is, I was getting ready to weed the rose bed outside the Oval Office window like I do every week. I yelled out to my assistants, 'Has anyone seen the spade and the hoe?' and the next thing I knew, I was fired!"
A GOOD CATHOLIC JOKE
by BIG JIM
A Good Catholic Joke
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"
Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....Show me!" So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!
AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY!