Warning some of these joke may pop your PC balloon. So if your easily offended then get the hell out.
(721 JOKES)
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CAJUN PREGNANCY
by D. NEAL
Way down in Louisiana , Boudreaux's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come. So he brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and said, "Hey, Boudreaux, you just had you-sef a son! Ain't dat grand!"
Boudreaux got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, "Hey, Boudreaux, you got you-sef a daughter too! She a pretty lil ting."
Boudreaux got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, "Hold on, we still ain't got done yet!" The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Boudreaux, you just had you-sef another boy!"
When Boudreaux and his wife went home with their 3 children, he sat down with his wife and said, "Mama, you remember dat night what we run out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere Tree-in-One Oil?"
His wife said, "Yeah, I do!"
Boudreaux said, "Man, it's a darn good ting we didn't use no WD-Forty."
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THE NEWBY RIDER
by E-Z RAT
A duded-up city rider walks into a seedy tavern in Sturgis , SD.
He sits at the bar and notices a grizzled old biker with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the newby rider bravely asks the old biker, 'If you ain't gonna eat that,mind if I do?'
The old veteran of a thousand rides slowly turns his head toward the young pup and says, 'Nah, you go ahead.' Eagerly, the guy wearing the shiny new leather fashions reaches over and slides the bowl into his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom of the bowl and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfed up the chili back into the bowl. The old biker quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
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PLEASE NOTE THE NEW POLICY
by TAMI
IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
The term "Nigger Rigged" is no longer acceptable effective immediately.
It will now be referred to as a "Presidential Solution".
Thank You,
The United States Government
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MY BOYFRIEND---MY BOYFRIEND
by TAMI
A man and a woman were deeply in love. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.
One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing." He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60, off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.
Now, seeing her naked for the first time, and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, over an embankment and wrapped the car around a tree. His girlfriend was thrown clear, but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas, he was stuck."Go up to the road and get help," he said. "But I haven't anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help.
Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend, my boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver, looking down at the shoe between her legs, replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid there's no hope for him."
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STOLEN CAR
by FOXY
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling
back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,
"Can I help you Sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr", the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without
Missing a beat, blurts out....
"Holy shit! My girlfriend's gone, too!
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